In my opinion the most important thing in lending money is understanding and trust. If my friend needed money, I would probably ask what they were going to buy first. If I can afford to lend the money, then I will. It also depends on how much I trust them. For example if someone I'm not close to wants to lend some money, I will hesitate more and either won't lend them any or give them less than they need.
When you refuse to lend money to your friend it may be very hurtful and you might even risk losing your friendship. This also depends on your level of trust.
For the one lending, you may have high expectations that the person you trust will lend you the money. But if that person rejects you, you may feel very disappointed and even break off your friendship. Even though I think that is selfish, it is the normal reaction that humans have. However, if your friend needed the money for something important and absolutely cannot lend you the money, you probably won't feel as disappointed as when they can lend you the money but refuse to.
Lending also depends on how you're going to spend the money. If your friend asked you to lend him/her money so that he/she can spend it on something unnecessary, then you will most likely reject them. But if your friend doesn't have much money but only asks you to lend him/her money once in a while, it might be okay for you to lend. (:
Paying back the money may also be a problem for some people. It's ok if you cannot pay the money back all at once but you need to inform the lender so that you can work out a solution for you to pay back all the money. Paying bit by bit is ok as long as you don't lend more money and keep owing them more as that will irritate them.
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(Sorry if my post is contradicting :P)
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